Are you allowing God to work His will in His time?

As I sit with the third rejection letter from law school, I begin to feel a deep anxiousness that I'm going to end up living out the rest of my life as a grass cutter. Just some guy who got lucky with a lawn and landscape company and grew it into a little commercial outfit. My kids will grow up saying, "My daddy cuts grass," when asked what their father does. I'll have earned a bachelor's degree purely for the sake of earning it, with seemingly no ability to exercise the utility that comes with it.

With my attempt to enroll in Navy Officer Candidate School seemingly more and more out of reach because of my age, that career path moves further from the reach of reality as well. All at once, all of the career aspirations I've worked toward have slowly fallen by the wayside, and I'm forced to reconcile the fact that I'm likely to be a grass guy for the foreseeable future.

I've pondered these realities, and after a human dose of despair, I've come to the realization that it's all okay.

Simple, I'm aware. Everything is okay.

Despite the plan I have set for my life potentially not going the way I anticipated, I serve a vital role to those around me. I put food on the table not just for my family, but for the men who work for me and go home to their families. We keep the grounds clean and litter-free for students, the elderly, shoppers, and a myriad of other folks. Like all working-class people, we serve as a small but imperative cog in the machine of life. If we stop doing what we're doing, someone else will have to take over, as the tasks before us are vitally needed.

I have long wrestled with the personal gripe that I was meant for more than cutting grass and owning a "little" landscaping firm.

"I should be doing more," I would say to myself.

"I'm wasting my potential," I would constantly chastise myself.

How ashamed I should feel. How full of hubris and selfishness I've become to assume that my value as a man was tied to such grand titles and purpose.

In life, there are few things that truly matter, and if one is to analyze oneself, then one should identify those things and determine whether they are meeting the needs of those few critical priorities.

The most important thing one can have is a relationship with God. Seeking Him in all things and living daily to be Christ-like in all things.

Am I doing that?

I believe so. Though I constantly falter, I rely on the good news of grace and readily try again with each waking day. Check one.

Do I make it a priority to be there for my family, more specifically my wife and child? Absolutely.

My wife is the gold standard of women, and I treasure her greatly. My child is nothing less than a perfect gift from God Himself. Thus, I take every waking moment I have to be thankful for both of them and do not allow myself even a moment of respite from that fervent love. Check two.

I recall growing up watching both of my parents work tirelessly to provide for us. I remember my father cleaning doctors' offices late into the evening after a full day of work just to put a little more money in the family pocket. I never once thought it was odd. I never once thought less of him, and as a child, I never wanted for anything.

There were, I'm sure, many times when we struggled growing up, but we never knew it. Our parents beguiled us into thinking we were just like everyone else.

Thus, how silly of me to imagine that my own daughter would be embarrassed by my profession.

I sit and worry about my daughter telling people, "My daddy cuts grass." I worry about what others will think of me through that statement, when in reality, all that matters is what she thinks. And on any given day, she thinks I hung the moon directly where it sits just for her viewing pleasure.

When I pray for guidance on what to do with my future, I only ever hear softly in my mind, "Be still," which absolutely drives me crazy because I'm notoriously restless. Always looking for the next thing to sink my teeth into.

This simple but direct command is the hardest thing for me to follow, but it is nevertheless the most important.

God gives us all unique challenges to work through, and mine is clearly that I must be still and know that He is God, and that all things come together in His timing, not mine.

As I await the decision from one final law school and the results of the Navy Officer Candidate School board, I will continue doing what God has placed before me today.

I will love my wife.

I will raise my daughter.

I will lead the men under my command well.

I will cut grass if grass is what needs cutting.

And if God has something else for me, He knows where to find me.

Until then, I will be still and know that He is God.

So, ask yourself: are you wholly trusting in His perfect timing?